


You can't leave me like he did!

by RaccoonBot



Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: Angst, Figuring Things Out, M/M, Shower Sex, Smut, dealing with FEELINGS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-29 16:22:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6383746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaccoonBot/pseuds/RaccoonBot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Klaj tryes really hard to figure out who he is and how he feels, only to jump into the list of people Rekkles definitely loves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You can't leave me like he did!

**Author's Note:**

> Please forgive me for the cringe you may or may not experience in this work, in which I sadly do not own any of the characters depicted, as much as I may hope I would. I hope you enjoy!

Johan was an interesting teenager. He was a Swede afterall, living in a tolerant, liberal community, where acceptance to all, no matter their race or sexuality was very important. Yet even when the talks with his friends of who liked who came around, even when one of his friends came out as gay, even when they all found pairs except Johan he didn't think much of it. He tolerated his friend, drank too much and partyed with girls. And to be honest, Johan was probably way too friendly with girls, for how a straight guy should act. But he didn't think much of it, never liked stereotypes, never will. He also never truly liked a girl. He dabbled in a relationship, had his first kiss, loved to pet her hair and look into her eyes. Of course he would, it was normal to, it was accepted, he felt right when he did it. But when time came around to do the things many parents are affraid to tell their children, Johan didn't feel anything special. He was a hormone full teenager, that was for sure, he jacked off yes, but... Not to girls. He couldn't feel right doing that, not one bit. He felt scared and lost when his girlfriend invited him over and started undressing. He blushed, but no blood rushed to his groin, instead it collected in his face and ears, disappointment filled her eyes and that's that. Johan never told his friends why they broke up, the girl said she'd keep it a secret, but asked to figure himself out, before breaking more hearts. And Klaj followed her suggestion. Well, only in his own way. He went into League and the internet, drowning out the questions, and training longer, harder and more than he ever did. 

One day he got a message from a team. Fnatic. He liked the team, had watched their games, their players, knew the strict training rules, but with his training and improvement driven attitude, he hoped that one day he could maybe reach Yellowstar's level, could be a great support. Yet Johan was very anxious, living in a house with other guys, most of whom are as hormone filled as he is, with Fnatics history of 'more open than usual' players... Maybe he would feel at place? He wasn't sure what side of the spectrum he was on, not sure what to do, most likely as every person his age. With Shia Labeoufs words ringing in his ears, Klaj decided to join Fnatic, what wrong could come out of it anyways? Well some things did eventually come out.

 

He grew easily into the team, Johan was charismatic and funny after all, fitting well with the rest of his jokster roster. He'd put on a smile every day, laugh loud and work hard, fitting the poster boy Martin as his sidekick. Yet every night, Johan went to sleep confused, dancing amongst the holes in his sanity, filled with thoughts of who he was and how he felt, yet with every butt slap, every smirk and joke, those holes grew larger and larger. Sure it was nice hearing remarks about his cute butt, yet it made him question what his teammates ment by it though. It felt at home to be laughing together with others, but the smiles and curled lips attracted him more than they should. Why was he like this? It felt like some being, some mercy forsaken deity, decided to just make Johans life more difficult, for the heck of it. It was terrible trying to balance between his normal outgoing and funny personality and the depression and anxiety within him, making him question every move of everyone around him. Especially his AD carry, the person he should have the most synergy with, the one he should trust and the one that should trust him. Oh how terrible it felt for Johan to see Martin go out with fangirls and how frustrating where his teammates snickers after he spent a few minutes too long in the bathroom.

To make matters worse he was underperforming too. Johan tryed to not read reddit, not mind the comments on facebook or twitter, singing "conceal, don't feel, don't let them know~" in his head for more reasons than one. Yet it hurt, it hurt so so much. Every hook he missed, Johan could feel a bit of him break off, as another comment would appear somewhere to remind him he was unworthy. And as he was caught out again, the more questions he knew he's have, as to why was he even on the team if all he can do is disappoint them? "Klaj is dead!" he could hear the casters shout out again, and again. 

He had nowhere to run, to hide, to go somewhere he would be safe at peace, no gameplay, no sexuality, no devious smiles, no bickering laughs, no bile filled comments. Nothing. Just silence, a blanket, some cookies and a cup of tea.

Nowhere.

At day Johan would have to put up a mask again, fight through one more time, practice as hard as he can; and at night lay silently, awake, unable to cry, to even make a sound in fear of waking Martin, quietly snoring near him. Martin, who Johan wished to touch, to hold, to curl up to, kiss, pet, ask him what his favourite colour is, watch the sunset together, make him feel wonderful....

 

\--------------

But things weren't easy for the Swedish super star either. He had lost a little bit too much. Deft, his first love, far far away. He knew he'd only get a chance to meet him if they both make it to worlds. Oh who he was kidding, Deft surely would, now Fnatic on the other hand had stumbled. Because everything fell onto him. Martin. Bora left, for seemingly no reason, he said he wanted new experiences, yet by doing so put Martin in charge of calling the game, something he was oh so unfamiliar with. Huni and Reignover left for America, the promise land too, seeking bigger, better posibilities. Martin wanted to blame them too, for leaving the team, leaving them as a sinking ship after such a performance last split and at worlds, yet he couldn't blame them, he himself had left Fnatic to sink before only to come back when his dabbles were unsuccessful. He still remembered that, how could he forget, when there were still people hating him for it. But it wasn't fair. He lost so much more with those three leaving. He lost somebody he loved dearly too. Reignover and his damned smile, that would turn Martin into a mess in a second, left aswell, even after all the nights and talks. Kim said he's come back later, but only after living his career to the fullest. So same as Deft. And Martin was lost. He loved them both. And now both of them where on different sides of the world for him, with his only chance to meet them being, Worlds. 

So Martin put in more hours, more training, tryed harder, cut out more friends. Yet it was difficult to make everyone click, his own performances, even on some champions he thought he had mastered were disappointing. He could chalk it off to having more duties now, it would be an easy way out. Yet it would also be a lie. A lie Martin couldn't let himself slip into, as then all his chances to go to Worlds again, to try and live his dreams, would be crushed once again.

 

Everything became even more difficult with Klaj changing Noxiak. Martin had nothing against his previous support, Noxiak was a nice person, but for some reason they just didn't click right. often stuggling in lane, failing to work with synergy. He had hoped his new coming Swede would help, seeing Klaj and his charming personality made Martins brain struggle again instead. Their synergy was good, they worked well together, attitudes matching, just as much as eyes. Yet he couldn't have this, Martin couldn't fall in love again, he had already been torn up twice, no more would be allowed. Neither he nor his team could take it. So Martin opted to put on a fascade, a mask, cling to his smile and laugh and bottle all feelings, emotions and outlandish thoughts down deep deep inside, somewhere where noone could find them, some place, where they would never escape from as long as Martin could stop them. But he couldn't. Not when they both were sleeping in the same room. Not when Martin would wake up and try to hide his erection in shame before the Support could notice anything, banking on "well every guy gets a boner in the morning" as his get away from jail card. All those black urges, that would come out in the sleep were not something he was ready to confront and so 'dormant' they laid.

 

\-----------

 

"Where is Martin, is he having his private time? Wait, he doesn't need that, he gets fan girls, lots of fan girls" - Johan blurted out on stream with a strange smirk on his face.  
Oh god of course he would, maybe people wouldn't think too much into the sad light in his eyes, maybe they wouldn't notice the slight jealousy in his voice. No he wasn't jealous of Martin getting all the fangirls. He was jealous of the fangirls seemingly getting all of Martin. He didn't want to confront anyone about it, but with every day and every sleepless night, he started to come to terms with the difficult truth of who he was. There was nothing wrong with it, and Johan wasn't quite sure if he figured everything out to the bits, but he was sure enough that no scale would rate him at 100% straight. And once he heard Martin moaning out his name when they were sleeping, it gave Johan confidence, that maybe he wasn't so wrong with his hopes. Part of him wanted to giggle at the fact that two people, who most probably have a crush on eachother, sleep in the same room every night, sit next to eachother every day and hide their embarassments every morning. But he wasn't so sure what to do about it, how could he confront Martin with this. He was pretty sure the feelings were equal, but had Martin accepted them? Had he found homosexuality normal? Yes he seemed extraordinarily friendly to some other guys before, like Reignover and Deft, but was there something more? If he would trust Martins fans, then definitely, Martin had fucked both of them each day of their living. Yet Johan was still scared and slighly helpless, not sure what to do.

 

But sometimes answers come on their own. When your ADC reaches out to fix you microphone and you just see it in his eyes, the care, the love. You know he feels the same. So why bother hiding it from eachother anymore?

And when you get back to hotel room, whether you locked the two of you in the bathroom accidentally or not doesn't matter anymore, what matters is trying to solve all of this mess.

 

"The door won't budge" Johan said, pushing at it.  
"What?? But everyone else is out drinking, what the hell are we going to do?!" Martin whined out loud, trying to not panic completely.  
"How can I know?"  
"Well what did you do to the door???"  
"Nothin! I just closed it and heard a strange click!"  
"Ah for fucks sake..." Martin muttered out, followed up by some Swedish curses, even if they promised eachother to only speak English.  
As a few minutes passed, with Martin trying to call for help by shouting, as their phones were left in the living room, Johan had enough of it.  
"Stop it, you're hurting my ears, we'll just have to wait out till they come back searching where we've gone."  
"But that could take hours, I can't stay here that long, I-"  
"You what? Are you claustrophobic or why would you be so scared?" Johan started to act curious, trying to get Martin to open up.  
"No, I just-"  
"You what?"  
"Nothing"  
"Oh come on now Martin!"  
"What?"  
"Don't you dare pretend on me like this!"  
"I am not pretending anything, what the fuck are you saying??"  
"That we both have feelings for eachother you blink monk!" Johan spat out furiously.  
"Wha-, I, uhm, why would you say t-that?" Martint tryed to continue defending himself, even if he already looked defeated.  
"Because I can see, dumbass, you are way too embarassed and flustered every morning, you look at me like I am the most precious thing and an unobtainable treasure when you think that I can't see, but don't react when I try to signal back, you moan my goddamn name during sleep! Why is it so difficult for you to just admit this??" Johan looked genuinly hurt, biting his lip to stop what looked like tears from welling up.  
"I'm sorry, it's just too much for me, I can't"  
"Too much? You think it's easy for me?"  
"You don't have the same expectations set on you, you don't have to fill the shotcalling shoes"  
"Oh as if coach reddit is any easier on me! I feel like a worthless piece of thrash after every game, even when we win. Like a hopeless disappointment... Why is it so hard for you to atleast to say something to me?? I know shotcalling is hard, but that doesn't change anything about us!"  
"You don't know enough about me then, I have plenty other reasons to not fall in love again..."  
"So goddamn tell me!" Johan again looked so hurt that Martin just had to comply and start opening up.  
And so he did, telling Johan about his first crush on Deft, their time in Singapore, their night before they had to separate, how he felt, how he left Fnatic, only to join them again despite the slinging of anger from fans, how he fell in love with Reignover, how he left Martin too, breaking his heart. How he doesn't know what to do anymore, already having loved two people, only to fall in love again, with Johan now. And how it was simply too much for poor little Martin, with little sanity left, to confront and love Johan.  
"In truth I was scared I'd hurt you. But I guess by not saying anything, I just turned out to shatter you even more" Finished Martin apologetically.  
"I mean I get it now, but it still hurts... If you want to I can just leave the team, it would probably turn out better that way..." Johan looked back at him, sad, hopeless, but ready to help someone he loved.  
"No! You can't leave me like he did-" Martin sputtered out as he grabbed Johans hand, drawing him in closer into a near hug.  
"But I though't you couldn't love me, becau-mmph!" Johan was again unable to finish due to his lips being muffled by Martin. He relaxed a bit sighing into the kiss, feeling Martins hands pull him in even more while Johan timidly ran his fingers through his fluffy locks. Martin in the meanwhile prodded Johans lips open with his tongue, exploring inside his mouth, as his precious support seemed to have very little experiance in the matters of kissing, but Martin put that to the side for now, figuring he'll just have to take the initiative in this. It seemed to have worked with Johan opening up, moaning into the kiss, putting away his constant worries, as it did feel amazing. He felt happy for once, fulfilled. And while Johan was simply enjoying the moment, Martin clearly wanted more. Throwing his cautions, logic and fears to the wind he turned his head lightly to the side, opening their lips more, bringing some passion and intensity into the kiss, making his groin heat up, wild thoughts spinning into his vision, thinking that maybe he could eventually make all those dirty fantasies come true. Martin felt his lover fumbling with the buttons of his shirt, slowly they separated, a bit shy, faces flushed red, eyes filled with bottled lust. This time Johan decided to take the initiative between the panting, throwing off his shirt, pushing Martin to the wall, starting another kiss. Martin himself had other pressing concerns, as he slowly dragged a condom from his pocket, thinking there there must be some lube in the cupboard. Though he still had worries, how far did they want to go with it? Johan blushed when he saw the condom, having little to no experiance in any of these matters, but he wanted to show Martin that he was ready, pulling at the belt of his ADC with one hand while holding the back of his head with the other. Slowly they got off their pants between the kisses, sporting tents in their underwear, making Johan even more flustered, shy and eager to continue. Martin thought that continuing things in the shower would be the best option, considering it was fairly cold on the floor, turning on the hot water and then turning to Johan questioning him with his eyes. Johan seemed to agree to the decision, already getting goosebumps on his body, despite how hot his face and groin was, eventually pulling of his underwear only to get more shy and flustered, earning a giggle from Martin, followed up by another kiss. The AD carry felt his boner be too mistreated by underwear and followed Johans example, earning a gaze and an even redder face from him. Finally Martin dragged the two of them into the hot shower, feeling his hair get wet and stick to his face in an instant, warm water running around his naked body, coating their entangled bodies with liquid, giving him even more reasons to never let go. Yet he would have to, as with Johan experimentally moving his hips, earning moans from both of them, he wanted more. So Martin decided to turn off the water, steam already covering the walls and keeping them warm. 

"Are you fine with us going further?" He asked.  
"Yes." Johan replied with newfound confidence, running one hand down Martins wet back.  


The AD smirked, opening his bottle of lube, while slowly turning Johan around, back now turned to Martin, allowing him to squat a bit, covering Johans entrance with lube, slowly puttin one finger in. He earned a whine from his support, feeling him tense up. Martin just stayed like this, his other hand rubbing Johans member, making sure the boy was comfortable through this, waiting for him to relax, before slowly adding a second lubed up finger. Doing things as slowly as he could, as even with all of his experience, he didn't want anything to go wrong. After waiting another few minutes, letting Johan get completely comfortable, Martin added his third finger, moving them a bit, making the other boy let out more sounds he'd normally muffle, getting him even more embarassed and red faced, which shouldn't be possible by now. In the meanwhile Martin fumbled a bit with the condom and lube, finally managing to get ready, after pulling out his fingers and standing up, before kissing Johans neck as he slowly entered the tip inside of him. Making sure to give his precious support time to relax and get used to the feeling, Martin took his time pushing in nearly halfway while showering kisses on Johans neck and shoulders, holding him up with one hand for support, while rubbing his lovers boner with the other. Upon finally pushing in fully, Martin managed to hit Johans prostate, making the other boy tremble in his hands, letting out even more moans and whines, before trying to slap a hand over his mouth which Martin slowly pushed away with his hand, whispering niceties into his ear. Eventually Martin evolved their movements into a slow, sloppy rythm, making sure to keep Johan comfortable, before thinking about his own pleasure, althought seeing his support holding against the wall with his hands above his head, eyes closed and face red, moans and curses escaping his lips, hips pushing back against Martins every trust and dick twitching, was probably the hottest thing Martin had ever seen. And so, just a few thrusts later, he felt Johan tense up around him, a single high pitched moan escaping and the support came against the wall, panting, nearly collapsing with his shaking legs unable to support him, if not for Martin holding him up. Martin then slowly pulled out, his own member achingly hard, but before they could do anything about it, they heard a voice behind the door: "Hey, what the hell is going on in there?!" Fabian shouted. The Swedes exchanged panicked looks, before rushing to clean up, dress up and figure out an appropriate excuse, why Febiven shouldn't just open the door right there and then. Eventually they had to exit, faces red, Martin still sporting a rather large tent in his jeans, earning a confused look and some snickering from Febiven, while Johan just stared apologetically, making promises in his mind to make up for it somehow...

**Author's Note:**

> I want to thank ButterflyPrincess and Fangirling all the way, for helping me out with ideas and moral support, also to google for making me realise that experience is in fact writted with an e, not experiance. I would also like to apologise for my obsession with Klaj's butt, which in my opinion is the cutest thing ever.
> 
> https://scontent-fra3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xlp1/v/t34.0-12/12421724_960717630644746_1414720943_n.jpg?oh=f2f027e0413e55099562ab848075b773&oe=56FBB5BB
> 
> MASTER COOKIE BAKER
> 
> And thank you so much for reading! :)


End file.
